Charles Bukowski - All The Pussy We Want

All The Pussy We Want

Harry and Duke. The bottle sat between in a cheap hotel in downtown
L.A. It was Saturday night in one of the cruelest towns in the world.
Harry's face was quite round and stupid with just a tip of a nose looking
out and you hated his eyes; in fact, you hated Harry when you looked at him,
so you didn't look at him. Duke was a little younger, a good listener, with
just the slightest of smiles on when he listened. He liked to listen; people
were his biggest show and there wasn't any admission charge. Harry was
unemployed and Duke was a janitor. They'd both done time and would be in
jail again. They knew it. It didn't matter.
The 5th was about one-third finished and there were empty beercans on
the floor. They rolled their cigarettes with the easy calm of men who had
lived hard and impossible lives before the age of 35 and were still alive.
They knew it was all a bucket of shit but they refused to quit.
"See," said Harry, taking a drag, "I chose you, man. I can trust you.
You won't panic. I think your car can make it. We split it right down the
middle."
"Tell me about it," said Duke.
"You won't believe it."
"Tell me."
"Well, there's gold out there, laying on the ground, real gold. All you
gotta do is walk out and pick it up. I know it sounds crazy, but it's there,
I've seen it."
"What's the catch?"
"Well, it's an army artillery grounds. They shell all day, and
sometimes at night, that's the catch. It takes guts. But the gold is there.
Maybe the shells broke it out of the earth, I don't know. But they usually
don't shell at night."
"We go in at night."
"Right. And just pick the stuff up off of the ground. We'll be rich.
All the pussy we want. Think of it --- all the pussy we want."
"It sounds good."
"In case they start shelling we leap into the first shell hole. They
ain't gonna aim there again. If they hit the target, they're satisfied. If
they haven't, the next shot will be somewhere else."
"That sounds logical."
Harry poured some whiskey. "But there's another catch."
"Yeah?"
"There's snakes out there. That's why we need two men. I know you're
good with a gun. While I pick up the gold you watch for the snakes and blow
their heads off. There are rattlers out there. I think you're the man to do
it."
"Why the hell not?"
They sat smoking and drinking, thinking about it.
"All that gold," said Harry, "all that pussy."
"You know," said Duke, "it mighta been that those guns blew open an old
treasure chest."
"Whatever it is, there's gold out there."
They thought about it a while longer.
"How do you know," asked Duke, "that after you gather all the gold I
won't shoot you out there?"
"Well, I just gotta take that chance."
"Do you trust me?"
"I don't trust any man."
Duke opened another beer, poured another drink.
"Shit, there's no use of me going to work Monday is there?"
"Not now."
"I feel rich already."
"I kind of do too."
"All a man needs is some kind of break," said Duke, "then people treat
him like a gentleman."
"Yeah."
"Where's this place at?" asked Duke.
"You'll see when we get there."
"We split down the middle?"
"We split down the middle."
"You're not worried about me shooting you?"
"Why do you keep bringing that up, Duke? I might shoot you."
"Jesus, I never thought of that. You wouldn't shoot a pal, would you?"
"Are we friends?"
"Well, yes, I'd say so, Harry."
"There'll be enough gold and pussy for both of us. We'll be set for
life. No more parole officers. No more dish washing gigs. The Beverly Hills
whores will be chasing us. Our worries are over."
"Do you really think we can bring it off?
"Sure."
"Is there really gold down there?"
"Listen , man, I told you."
"O.k."
They drank and smoked some more. They didn't talk. They were both
thinking of the future. It was a hot night. Some of the roomers had their
doors open. Most of them had a bottle of wine. The men sat in their
undershirts, easy and wondering and beaten. Some of them even had women, not
too much as ladies but they could hold their wine.
"We better get another bottle," said Duke, "before they close."
"I don't have any money."
"I'll get it."
"O.k."
They got up and walked out the door. They turned right down the hall
and went toward the back. The liquor store was down the alley and to the
left. At the top of the back steps a man in stained and wrinkled clothing
was stretched across the back doorway.
"Hey, it's my old pal Franky Canon. He really hung one on tonight.
Guess I'll move him out of the doorway."
Harry picked him up by the feet and dragged him out of the way. Then he
bent over him.
"Wonder if anybody's got to him yet?"
"I don't know," said Duke, "check him out.
" Duke pulled all Franky's pockets inside out. Checked the shirt.
Opened his pants, checked him around the waist. All he found was a matchbook
that said:


LEARN
DRAFTING
AT HOME

Thousands of top pay
jobs waiting


"I guess somebody got him." said Harry.
They walked down the back steps and into the alley.
"Are you sure that gold is there?" asked Duke.
"Listen," said Harry, "you're pissing me off! You think I'm crazy?"
"No."
"Well, don't ask me that no more then!"
They walked into the liquor store. Duke ordered a fifth of whiskey and
a tall six pack of malt beer. Harry stole a bag of mixed nuts. Duke paid for
his stuff and they walked out. Just as they got to the alley a young woman
walked up; well, young for that area, she was about 30 with a good figure,
but her hair was uncombed and she slurred a bit.
"What you guys got in that bag?"
"Cats' tits," said Duke.
She got up near Duke and rubbed against the bag.
"I don't wanna drink no wine. You got whiskey in there?"
"Sure, baby, come on up."
"Lemme see the bottle."
She looked good to Duke. She was slim and her dress was tight, real
shit ass tight, god damn. He pulled the bottle out.
"O.k.," she said, "let's go."
They walked up the alley, the girl between them. Her haunch bumped
Harry as she walked. Harry grabbed her and kissed her. She broke off.
"You son of a bitch!" she screamed. "lemme alone!
" "You're gonna spoil everything, Harry!" said Duke. "You do that again
and I'm gonna punch you out!"
"You can't punch me out."
"Just do it again!"
They walked up the alley and up the stairways, opened the door. The
girl looked at Franky Cannon laying there but didn't say anything. They
walked on up to the room. The girl sat down and crossed her legs. She had
nice legs.
"My name's Ginny," she said.
Duke poured the drinks.
"I'm Duke. He's Harry."
Ginny smiled and took her drink.
"Some son of a bitch I'm stayin' with he kept me naked, kept my clothes
locked in the closet. I was in there a week. I waited until he passed out,
took the key off him, got this dress and ran off."
"That's a nice dress."
"It's alright."
"It brings out the best in you."
"Thanks. Hey, listen, what do you guys do?"
"Do?" asked Duke.
"Yeah, I mean how do you make it?"
"We're gold prospectors," said Harry.
"Oh, come on, don't give me that shit."
"That's right," said Duke, "we're gold prospectors."
"We've struck it. We're gonna be rich inside a week," said Harry.
Then Harry had to get up to piss. The can was down the hall. When Harry
left Ginny said, "I wanna fuck you first, Honey. I'm not too crazy about
him."
"That's o.k.," said Duke.
He poured three more drinks. When Harry came back Duke told him.
"She's gonna lay me first."
"Says who?"
"Says us," said Duke.
"That's right," said Ginny.
"I think we ought to take her with us," said Duke.
"Let's see how she lays first," said Harry.
"I drive men crazy," said Ginny. "I make men scream. I've got the
tightest pussy in the state of California!"
"All right," said Duke, "let's find out."
"Gimme another drink first," She said, draining her glass.
Duke gave her a refill. "I've got something too, baby, I'll probably
rip you wide open!"
"Not unless you stick your foot in there," said Harry.
Ginny just smiled as she drank. She finished her drink.
"Come on," she said to Duke, "let's make it."
Ginny walked over to the bed and pulled her dress off. She had on blue
panties and a faded pink brassiere held together by a safety pin in the
back. Duke had to undo the safety pin.
"Is he gonna watch?" she asked Duke.
"He can if he wants," said Duke, "what the hell."
"O.k.," said Ginny.
They got into the sheets together. There were some minutes of warmup
and maneuvering as Harry watched. The blanket was on the floor. All Harry
could see was movement under a rather dirty sheet.
Then Duke mounted. Harry could see Duke's butt bobbling under the
sheet.
Then Duke said, "Oh shit!
"What's the matter?" asked Ginny.
"I slipped out! I thought you said you had a tight box!"
"I'll put you in! I don't think you were in!"
"I was in somewhere!" said Duke.
Then Duke's butt was bobbing again. I never should have told that son
of a bitch about the gold, thought Harry. Now we've got this bitch on our
hands. They might team against me. Of course, if he happened to get killed,
she might like me better. Then Ginny moaned and started talking. "Oh, honey,
honey! Oh, Jesus, honey, oh my gawd!"
What a bunch of bullshit, thought Harry.
He got up and walked over to the back window. The back of the hotel was
right near the Vermont turnoff on the Hollywood freeway. He watched the
headlights and tail lights of the cars. It always amazed him that some
people were in such a hurry to go in one direction while other people were
in such a hurry to go in another. Somebody had to be wrong, or else it was
just a dirty game. Then he heard Ginny's voice. "I'm gonna COME! O, my gawd
I'm gonna COME! O, my gawd! I'm :"
Bullshit, he thought and then turned to look at them. Duke was really
working. Ginny's eyes did seem glazed; she stared straight up into the
ceiling, straight up into an unshaded lightbulb; glazed, seemingly glazed
she stared up past Duke's left ear:
I might have to shoot him out on that artillery field, thought Harry.
Especially if she's got a tight box.
gold, all that gold.